So it's the beginning of another new year... again. 2011 is a year I wont forget to say the least. Alot of changes happened in my life... I finished school, I made decisions, got knocked down & got back up, I got my first job, I made new friends, I concentrated on things, I lost one of the closest people to me & my family, my heart broke, I became stronger than I ever thought i could be, I told my friends a few home truths that no - one else had the guts to say & that caused friendships to slowly drift because that's what life does. I now see soo many things differently & have a better outlook on most things.
But, the thing with me is.... I don't hold grudges, I don't see the point in why people do. You have to accept people for what & who they are, what they do & what they say. I don't get why people stay bitter with others unless it's genuinely serious? Why?...
I myself over the past few months have bin set on working & trying to keep my mind occupied to keep me going after everything that has happened over the past 3 months. I haven't wanted to do much with anyone & just wanted to be on my own, but it didn't always end up that way. But whether anyone realised it or not, that's all I wanted... was to be alone. I didn't want to be all smiley & feeling like I had to be okay, which I did most days... because I wasn't & I amen't.
Life goes on no matter what happens in your life, & it has taken for something tragic to happen in my family for me to truly realise that... because I couldn't get past it for a good while afterwards, I couldn't believe it. But, it happens every single day in the world.. & that's the sad thing.!
I have changed & grew up in the last few months. I have grown up & I appreciate everything so much more than I ever did. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that everything that has happened with me & my family has made us stronger & closer. I believe that what happened between myself & my friends... was meant to happen. People bitch, people argue, people don't always tell the truth, & people talk about others.
I do? You do? We all do.
We do because nobody's perfect & everyone has their days.. it's natural & there's nothing wrong with it!
I just don't like two-faced-ness & that's what my problem was at the time. I got fed up seeing & hearing things so decided I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. I said what was on my mind & that was that. Somehow, everyone agreed with me... but nothing changed. Same shit happened, things were said to all the wrong people except the person it should have been mentioned to. More bitching, more shite! Drama.
With everything going on with me at the time, I just couldn't take anymore.. I had enough on my plate as it was & didn't need that crap. To me it was pathetic & childish shit that should have bin sort out a lonnnnnng time ago! That's what my whole point was about.
Time has passed & it is now the 1.1.12.
I may be the only one who feels this way, but like I said I don't hold grudges & I don't see the point in not speaking to people over things that can't be resolved. Which is why I have still over all this time have never not spoke or avoided anyone. I don't have a reason to? Others seem to think so though and seem bitter which I don't get? But that's that.
I have had the reality - check to cop on that life is too short & can be taken away at any moment in time in the blink of an eye & that there's things you will never get back.
So this is the beginning of a new year & every year, people say "new year new me" which lasts about 3 days & then everything stays the same haha. All I'm going to do is apologise for anything I have ever said or done that may have hurt someone in any way, do my best to make my Nana proud every single day, live my life the way I want to & spend my time with my friends & family and hopefully have the same in return. But, I'll never stop being me... I'll always speak my mind, I'll always have my own opinion, I'll always hate drama, & I'll always try make things right. That's just me like it or not.
So here's to the new year & I hope everyone has a better one than 2011. We all can have one with a bit of effort. Make the most of your life & don't do something if you don't want to! At the end of the day, it's your life. Do what makes you happy & say how you feel.
May you all have a safe & healthy year ahead & I wish you all the best. ♥
